I don’t know how that stupid name came up. I don’t even know if I think the name is that stupid. It started with my grandpa, many years ago. I guess this must have been about the time when the first super heroes saw the light of day. You know, Batman and those guys (mostly guys). My grandfather was working in a warehouse, specifically with restocking stuff. He was the manager, that was very important for him to point out. Yes, manager over restocking products, that’s what he was doing.
Then one Christmas when my dad was very young, grandpa started a Christmas tradition out of nowhere. Legend has it that he just came in, dressed top down in something he put together out of boxes. I guess he must have gotten them at work.
“Behold, Captain Restocking is here to save the day” he allegedly said. No one found it funny. A couple of kids started crying, apparently. Everyone shared one emotion though: They were shocked.
Even more shocking was that my dad let this tradition survive. Oh yes, when my grandpa had been Captain Restocking for 3 Christmases, they apparently started to like it. How that happened, I don’t really know. So, when dad got his own kids, he brought on the tradition. Every Christmas throughout my childhood, he was Captain Restocking. In his boxes and stockings. This was the way it was going to be.
My dad didn’t even work in restocking! How on earth could this be defendable? Anyways, we just bought into the whole thing. It’s not that Captain Restocking did anything in particular either. He just was. He just sat there in his stupid suit. Sat there and was Captain Restocking, whether we wanted it or not.
I’m all grown up now. Together with my family, I’ve bought my first ever house. Adult life starts for real now and it feels exciting. Especially exciting was that we were celebrating Christmas in our new house. I expected dad to be Captain Restocking in front of my partners family and make a fool out of the whole family. He stepped out of the car, dressed as a normal human being. He held on to a weird old box that he carried up the stairs. He locked at me with tears in his eyes and handed me the box. I looked down in it, then looked up at him again and he just nodded.
“It’s time, my child”. From that moment on, I was the new Captain Restocking.